“Anything worth doing is worth failing at,” Greg Boyle, Homeboy Industries

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“Anything worth doing is worth failing at,”  Greg Boyle, Homeboy Industries

 

If you really took these words to heart, if you used them as a guiding principle, what would you begin doing or trying to do?  (Yes, there is such a thing as trying.)  What would you stop doing?  Why not start or stop today?  If that is too scary, you can start/stop a chosen action for one week or month and see how it feels.

When I was having trouble saying “No” to people, a mentor told me: if you can’t give an honest “No,” than you can’t give an honest, full-hearted “Yes.”  Excellent point.  I immediately understood the wisdom in what he’d said, but after a life-time of being trained to say “Yes” unless I had a really good reason for saying “No,” it was (and sometimes still is) a challenge.  His second piece of advice helped me to actually start saying “No”: Just say no firmly, no explanation or justification needed.  (Oh right!  My business and priorities are not everyone else’s business.  And if it is their business, ask your boss/colleague/partner how they want to re-prioritize your current work and commitments to fit in the new project.)

I recently suggested that a friend who wanted to say “No” more use the line, “I’m sorry, I’m fully committed.”*  After just a few days, she sent a joyous email:

I have already used my “fully committed” response and it feels great💃🏻.

Woo-Hoo!  You too can use that approach if simply saying “No” is a challenge.

A few more resources to help you say “Yes” and “No” more “honestly”:

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* This line is borrowed from the one-man play, “Fully Committed.”

Alexandra Marchosky
Alexandra Marchosky
I coach individuals and organizations to do and be better by more fully living their values.
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